do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
