I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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