I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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