Do you still have your period?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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