Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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