There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
