i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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