I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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