she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
