he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
