Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
