How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
