I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
