I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
