the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
