Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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