i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
