well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
