Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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