btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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