oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's get the cat blown out
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize