I hate your face
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize