I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
