Me. At least after what I've been through.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
