I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My life is pants optional.
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