I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
