You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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