I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
