Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize