I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
