It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize