guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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