Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
