so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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