I wanna bring you to show and tell
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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