Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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