is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she smelled like a LAN party
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Still dying that you shit outside
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
