I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
