I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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