We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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