I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
