yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
