This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
