it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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