you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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