Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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