i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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