Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
