it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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