Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
