I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
