Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
