my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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