I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
