Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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