did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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