Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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