She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
