shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We named our party play list daddy issues
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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