I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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