Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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