It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
