Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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