Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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