Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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