Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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