i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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