I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
