I hate your face
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
